"I Never Knew What I Wanted" by Esore Alle

While corresponding with AJ Montague, the artist  who essentially  is Esore Alle, about their debut single "I Never Knew What I Wanted", I remarked that while I seem constantly drawn to the unique & less precedented, that in itself makes reviewing harder than it would be for the predictable and mainstream.

Fortunately they've more or less anticipated the needs of challenged reviewers by drawing up a Press Pack full of helpful citations, influences and descriptors. Since I'd rather not make myself redundant, I'll avoid simply reproducing it in full (which actually would do the trick quite nicely) but even as you watch me groping towards my own words, I'll lean on it periodically as it is simply too useful not to use.

Of course, as you'll have worked out already, they've pressed all the right buttons with me by deliberately evading any given genre and thus not hobbling themselves to anyone's expectations right at the start of their career.

Genre blanking isn't automatically synonymous with such equally desirable approaches as being transgressive or norm bashing but they do tend to make for regular bedfellows. "Drawing heavily on queer expression and theatrical flair" suggests however that this applies here.

You can't actually make out the sound of rulebooks being ripped up amongst the many others here, but it's clear that it goes on in the world of Esore Alle and one gets the impression that AJ moves through life seeking out such dubious constraints and then blithely doing the opposite to what they urge.

Consequently the song (which I'll say straight away, so you don't misunderstand, is really compelling & accessible) is idiosyncratically structured . They call it "melodic trauma" and as a methodology for ensuring emotional engagement it must be said that it's highly effective. You are repeatedly shocked into reactions: that they call the key changes "chaotic" gives you a flavour of what I mean. This is what music should be & what we need of it yet don't often get.

Unsurprisingly, the song is a "fan favourite at live shows" and given all I've said, I suspect that seeing the live performance is essential to extract the most emotional benefit: that's certainly one for my personal list.

There is an official video which must go someway towards providing hints of the visual elements (though it's not a performance one as such). You can find it at:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNVkMe5BZ1Y

"I Never Knew What I Wanted" might just represent the plaintive cry of a first time visitor to an establishment catering for multiple fetishes and being bewildered by the diversity on offer. In that context the Scissors Sisters/Bowie nods make much sense.  On the other hand Kate Bush and They Might Be Giants send really distinct messages when also cited: don't expect anything in just one or two dimensions. There's plenty of glam & Weimar vibes but so much else too. When we are considering a "..harrowing exploration of trauma, identity, and mistrust…. and confessional lyrics" over simplification isn't going to cut it.

While I was writing this review, I was also chatting to a member of a band which had entered a competition and not won: the "explanation" given was that they were a "marmite act". Well I could say several things about that comment but personally I take it as an unintended accolade. If you aim for honesty in your songs, you will target respect from people: trying to ingratiate yourself isn't going to help. I think that description would fit most of those I praise in these reviews: they don't compromise & inevitably alongside the converts there will be those with huge comfort zones of the familiar that will be frightened by the unexpected & radical. It will probably be the case with Esore Alle but I don't get any sense of compromise in what I'm hearing & I suspect confronting complacency is on their agenda.

In addition to AJ Montague we need to namecheck co-writer Caitlin Jones and the musicians helping out on the song, namely Louise Bradbury (bass guitar) Joe Calverery (guitar), Luke Ellis (drums) and Toby Marriott (keyboards) plus producers Gavin Monaghan and Louise Russell.